Hats Off

There are certain things that I believe would greatly improve my life. There are the obvious – more money, more space, not having to work to live, not going bald, being good friends with Kanye West. The kind of shit most people think about. Then there are the less obvious, more First World Problems – trying to decide on an iPhone contract, getting a haircut, eating my five a day. All of these aside though, there is one thing that I truly believe would greatly improve my life, one that would make me jump out of bed each morning, greeting the day with a smile and a bounce in my step. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a bucket hat.

For the uninformed, a bucket hat is simply that. A hat shaped like an inverted bucket. As with many other hats, they also go by other names. Sailor hat, fishermen’s hat, boonie hat. All the same basic thing. A hat shaped like a bucket. The one above is by a brand called Tantum, and is here. I’m not entirely sure of the origins of the bucket hat, but I would suspect it’s a naval thing. Is nautical shit still on trend? I guess you could add it to the early 90s thing that everyone (my workplace) is pushing. Golden-era conscious rap was all about bucket hat. In fact, bucket hats probably pop up in most periods of rap, but as a rap tourist at best, I’m not in the best position to investigate. Let’s just agree that they’re a good style of hat. I’d wear it in the summer and keep the heat off my head. Wear it in the winter and keep the rain off my head. Wear it at home for no reason other than I could. There is only one problem in the way of my bucket hat dream – I look like a dick in a hat. I also have a really big head. So I can’t wear the one thing that will improve my life. It’s a tough life.
In other hat news, I tried on this cap at the weekend. It almost looks good on me, and may well become a good replacement to the non-existent bucket hat. Just remember, cap not snapback. Don’t say snapback.
I also spotted two different people wearing the Comme des Fuckdown beanie hat. So that’s a that. On the subject of beanies, this winter I’ll be wearing mine high and baggy (that’s what she said) because I saw a Japanese guy doing it one time and it looked cool. In about a month you’ll probably notice all the kids wearing their beanies like this. It’s going to be a thing. Expect to read something about the return of streetwear or some shit.
More inconsequential complaining soon.

One response to “Hats Off

  1. Pingback: Failure Pile In A Sadness Bowl | Maybe Partying Will Help

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