Failure Pile In A Sadness Bowl

If I was better at using slang then I would call this struggle blogging. But I’m not so I’m throwing out dated Patton Oswalt references like a third rate AV Club writer. As always I’m trying to make a go of this blog thing but once again I am failing miserably. The Internet is littered with dead blogs with good intentions. That might be good for a Tumblr turned book deal – last posts in failed social media. Word to Moira Stewart’s Twitter game. It I had more drive maybe I’d do it. But I won’t. Another example worth looking at is the 100 Worst Tweeters Tumblr which built up crazy momentum last year but completely petered out after they seemingly front loaded the countdown. We’ll never find out the top ten now. The last post was John McClure of Reverend & The Makers, who it’s fair to say has an absolutely dreadful Twitter.

How come big artists walk onto the radio even when their comeback single is utter shit? Lol

— Reverend&TheMakers (@Reverend_Makers) February 27, 2013

But this post isn’t about a failed indie musician and his Twitter feed of delusional #realmusicproperhaircuts rants. It’s more about my inability to stick to regular blogging. My major problem is that I have no angle. I can’t really carve a niche of my own if I don’t know what I’m going for. Aside from the meta-whining and feeling sorry for myself, I don’t really have anything new to add to the internet chatter. Every so often I get surprisingly perspective, like this. My best approach is a cynical, sarcastic take but Four Pins exists for that, what they do is pretty much exactly what I would do if I had the time/inclination. Seriously, Four Pins kills it daily. Like, how is this not a perfectly formed take look on #menswear? I give up. The only interesting thing that may come from this meandering sulk of a post is seeing which of the people I’ve mentioned have a Google Alert set up for their name. My money’s on The Reverend.

For the time being, I think I’m going to stick to my life, which is mostly sulking and buying magazines about expensive clothes I can’t afford. Maybe throw out some posts about my shirts. I recently bought a couple of really nice vintage flannel shirts, so that could be something. Anyone want 500 words about curved yokes and cigarette pockets?

Lightning Steak

I was recently going through my magazine pile and found what has to be the weirdest magazine I own. Unsurprisingly, it’s from Japan. If you Googled “weird Japanese magazine” you’re going to be disappointed. It’s not that kind of weird. Japanese magazines act more as catalogues, and see no problem in blurring the line between advertising and editorial content. Pretty much every subject or subculture has its own dedicated title. Lightning, one of the more famous exports, is dedicated to denim, workwear and Americana, and covers anything that could fall under that umbrella. I think it’s partly funded by The Flat Head, which is why they cover so much of their stuff over other brands. In addition to the regular monthly editions, Lighting also publish irregular supplements on specific subjects, rather than just clothes. The one I own is all about steak. It is 150 pages of pictures of steak restaurants in Japan (plus one in America). As a non-Japanese speaker, I have no idea what they’re talking about, but as it’s 80% pictures it’s possible to work out what’s going on.

Each restaurant is categorised according to type. They then feature a photo of the signature steak dish, a step by step guide to the cooking process and a couple of sides. They also give you the measurements of the meat (I know), should you want to make sure that you’re not getting ripped off. The issue is curatated, if that’s the right word, by this guy. I don’t know who he is, but he is pumped to be eating all this steak. According to an advert at the back, he also appears in magazines on burgers, yakiniku and a second steak issue. On the subject of advertising, on the back page there’s an advert for Googies Cafe, a 50s style diner in Nangano, which happens to be owned by The Flat Head. Blurring that line. His t-shirt says ‘Meat Solider’.

The only thing I can draw from the magazine is that the Japanese like steak as much as everyone else. Most of the meat on display is pinker and fattier than your typical western meat, which suggests it may be wagyu, but I can’t be sure. It’s all cooked super rare, almost raw in some cases, and there is a lot of garlic on everything. Most of the places covered are pretty classical in their approach – there’s not as much fusion as you’d expect, but soy sauce and wasabi pop up a couple of times. In conclusion, I do not know why this magazine exists, but I can say everything looks delicious. I can’t offer you any insight into Japanese steak culture, but I can offer you some poorly taken pictures.

Coffee Experiments

As part of my slow transformation into a fully fledged coffee jerk, I recently acquired a stove top espresso maker. Full disclosure – it was a Christmas present. I got one for two reasons. Firstly, as mentioned already I am slowly becoming a coffee jerk, and this will only help said transformation. Secondly, and more importantly, these things are very clever. They’re displayed at MoMA clever. Designed by an Italian inventor named Luigi De Ponti in 1933, they were manufactured and subsequently made famous by Alfonso Bialetti, aka the founder of Bialetti. You’ll recognise the nicely stereotyped drawing of a moustached Italian guy. Also known as a moka pot, the stove top coffee maker utilises steam pressure to force water up through the coffee and into the top part. Simple yet effective. There’s a whole Wikipedia page about it.

I’ve used mine about 6 times so far and have pretty much got the process locked in. As with any stupid kitchen toy, it took a couple of goes to get it right. The first few times gave some very disappointing, and frankly disgusting results. After switching the coffee to a different type, it started improving. Lesson learned – don’t use coffee that smells disgusting. It will only taste disgusting. A couple more tries and it’s finally producing something drinkable. It’s not an actual espresso as there’s not enough pressure, but it’s definitely stronger than your standard cup of coffee. It’s probably the closet you can get to espresso at home without dropping serious cash on a proper coffee machine. Going back to my becoming a coffee knob, I am slowly coming around to the idea that coffee is in fact better than tea. Roughly 2/3rds of my tea consumption is done at work, and the tea bags they have there are so bad it actually amazes me every time I drink a cup. And yet everyday I’m there with everyone else, complaining about the lack of clean mugs and spoons, scrambling for that mid afternoon caffeine fix. Coffee possess far more possibilities than tea. There’s more gadgets to play with (see above for example), it has a more widely applicable flavour – like, why do you not get tea flavoured things? With tea all you get is a mug full of the residue of dirty leaves and gutter water. Tea tastes like depression. At least coffee is a tangible flavour. Maybe I need to branch out into fancy teas, like Teapigs. Or maybe I need to go full on coffee dick, and get an AeroPress and start taking it to work. But that’s for another blog. What I’m saying is send me free stuff companies.

Nigel Cabourn

It’s that time of year again, where trade show and look book pictures start to trickle out, sparking debate amongst the #menswear minions. First to come to light is the Nigel Cabourn AW13 collection. Following last year’s less appealing cricket stripe theme, Cabourn comes back strong with this collection. I’ve been a fan of the brand for a couple of years but have never been able to commit to anything. Granted, this is mostly because the jackets are the equivalent of at least two months rent but you can always find that shit on discount in small sizes. Media dads are the only people that can buy Cabourn at full price, and believe me, they’re not copping the 38’s. The other part of me is always wary that Nigel Cabourn is too close to looking like you’re playing dress up as a blog game Compo from Last Of The Summer Wine.

The coats and jackets are always the highlight and this year’s Cameraman is one of the best yet. The blue/black combo is a lot easier to wear than the yellows and oranges of previous iterations, and the detachable vest is an awesome touch. I would probably just buy the vest. Harris Tweed is going to be big, so this jacket is perfect for keeping warm and dry, and staying relevant to all your internet #menswear friends. That’s right, you’re so hip, even your jacket’s lining is on trend. Instant rep.

These photos have been taken from the Proper magazine website, without their permission. You can click here to see the full set of photos, and read more stuff about tweed. They’re based in the North, and those dudes take their technical fabrics seriously.

New Year, New Failure

New year, new start would be the title of this blog, if I actually believed that this year would be any different from the last one. January is a time for every dick with internet access to proclaim that its their year, when realistically all that they’ll amount to is a couple of blog posts and some Instagram shots of their dinner/shoes before giving up on it all. The internet is full of dead blogs, of well intended, or even poorly intended attempts at adding something worthwhile to the millions of words that are typed into WordPress, Blogger, Tumblr etc every single day. How is yours different, how will it stand out from the rest of the dirge? It won’t. For all the self promo on Twitter, it’s a struggle to get even ten views for a new post. At least it is for me, seeing as out of my five friends, only one of them knows how to use the internet. My point is that we all start out with good intentions but they soon fade. I’ve got some great ideas – I was going to start making bags and shirts, I was going to start my own pickle business. I was going to start a fanzine. I even came up with a name, but now it’s just a poorly maintained Tumblr. Maybe one day I’ll get my act together and actually do something. In the meantime, I’ll probably just sit on the Oi Polloi website, waiting for them to reduce their sale prices.

In order to make this post seem less self-indulgent and whiny, above is one of my favourite songs from last year. I thought about doing some sort of music top five, like my super successful food top 10 (6 views!), but I realised that the older I get, the more I hate new music. This song would probably have been on that list. RiFF RaFF is ridiculous is the best possible way, and without Action Bronson I would never have got the phrase “Rap Game David Chang” on the ASOS website. Aside from getting blocked by some foodie knobheads on Twitter, it was probably my greatest achievement last year. And if that’s not a job well done then I don’t know what is.

Blog Game Technology

Back in the blog game thanks to the wonders of modern technology. I am typing this into my phone, into an app called Evernote. I am not entirely sure if that’s what the app is intended for or even if this will work. I’m still struggling to type properly. The one thing I’ve managed to suss out is Instagram. It’s basically girls posting pictures of themselves in a state of undress and dudes posting fit pics. If someone figured out a way auto translate Japanese into English they’d get the #menswear Instagram game locked down. I can’t be the only one that has a feed full of Japanese dads and their expensive clothes. So once again I am going to claim that I’m back in the blog game, but this time technology is on my side. I can type useless words into WordPress pretty much anywhere. I can also Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. I’m pretty much on all the social networks. You should follow me. I’ve even started browsing Etsy. Some seriously nice looking vintage mountain parkas on there. Love that 60/40 fabric. I put some examples on Tumblr. Yeah, I’m interconnected like that. Look out for me trying to live blog my work Christmas do. Very excited about that. To finish, here’s a picture of Guy Fieri and Drake.

Hats Off

There are certain things that I believe would greatly improve my life. There are the obvious – more money, more space, not having to work to live, not going bald, being good friends with Kanye West. The kind of shit most people think about. Then there are the less obvious, more First World Problems – trying to decide on an iPhone contract, getting a haircut, eating my five a day. All of these aside though, there is one thing that I truly believe would greatly improve my life, one that would make me jump out of bed each morning, greeting the day with a smile and a bounce in my step. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a bucket hat.

For the uninformed, a bucket hat is simply that. A hat shaped like an inverted bucket. As with many other hats, they also go by other names. Sailor hat, fishermen’s hat, boonie hat. All the same basic thing. A hat shaped like a bucket. The one above is by a brand called Tantum, and is here. I’m not entirely sure of the origins of the bucket hat, but I would suspect it’s a naval thing. Is nautical shit still on trend? I guess you could add it to the early 90s thing that everyone (my workplace) is pushing. Golden-era conscious rap was all about bucket hat. In fact, bucket hats probably pop up in most periods of rap, but as a rap tourist at best, I’m not in the best position to investigate. Let’s just agree that they’re a good style of hat. I’d wear it in the summer and keep the heat off my head. Wear it in the winter and keep the rain off my head. Wear it at home for no reason other than I could. There is only one problem in the way of my bucket hat dream – I look like a dick in a hat. I also have a really big head. So I can’t wear the one thing that will improve my life. It’s a tough life.

In other hat news, I tried on this cap at the weekend. It almost looks good on me, and may well become a good replacement to the non-existent bucket hat. Just remember, cap not snapback. Don’t say snapback.

I also spotted two different people wearing the Comme des Fuckdown beanie hat. So that’s a that. On the subject of beanies, this winter I’ll be wearing mine high and baggy (that’s what she said) because I saw a Japanese guy doing it one time and it looked cool. In about a month you’ll probably notice all the kids wearing their beanies like this. It’s going to be a thing. Expect to read something about the return of streetwear or some shit.

More inconsequential complaining soon.

Shirting

All I want is a nice shirt. Is that so hard to ask? Apparently so. The high street does not appear to cater for the modern man that wishes to dress like a 1950s labourer. Despite heritage being one of the current watchword of the murky world of ‘men’s fashion’, it’s pretty hard to find a nice work shirt. The obvious choice would be a vintage inspired line such as Levi’s Vintage Clothing. Whilst they’ve got the history and the designs to fall back on, the execution leaves something to be desired. The sizing is all over the place, and for the price, the quality and construction is way off. If you’re going to charge almost £200 for a shirt, it really shouldn’t be the same quality as one you can pick up from Uniqlo. Instead, it seems you either have to buy vintage, or buy Japanese.

Buying vintage is problematic. I would love to be able to go into a shop and pick up a chambray shirt like the one above but it seems unlikely. This kind of thing rarely shows up in London and it’s even rarer for it to come in my size. Luckily, there are loads of Japanese brands pushing reproductions of vintage items. The history of the Japanese’s interest in American vintage is pretty interesting and feeds into the current trends for the whole ‘heritage’ and ‘Made in USA’ type fashion stuff going on. It’s pretty much gone full circle with Americans buying Japanese reproductions of clothing originally made in America for hugely inflated prices. It’s best not to think about it. First world problems and all that.

Anyway, the shirt above from The Real McCoy’s is a good example of the Japanese approach to clothing. The attention to details is astonishing. Triple stitching, selvedge gusset, chain stitching everywhere. Another good example would be Workers. Run by one guy with a crazy collection of vintage workwear and a background in the garment industry, Workers takes the idea of authenticity and runs with it. Shirts are sewn on what look like vintage machines with features based on patents from the turn of the century. What might look like a normal pocket is actually sewn in such a way that the bottom of the pocket isn’t attached to the shirt. This was to give workers somewhere to keep their cigarettes so that the tobacco wouldn’t get damp. In this day and age, this kind of function isn’t required, but without it wouldn’t be truly authentic.

Of course, ordering from Japan can provide problematic. There’s the language barrier to overcome, limited runs, sizing, shrinkage, postage and customs issue. It’s a whole thing. Maybe I should just make my own……….

Logos

Have you ever noticed that fashion seems to steal ideas from everywhere and co-opt non-mainstream imagery in order to sell clothes to boring normal people? Sometimes it’s a coincidence, like the Supreme Born Against hoodie. Most of the time it’s deliberate. Now imagine if you took that knowledge and typed some shit into WordPress. That’s where I’m coming from.

This morning on the train I noticed a woman wearing a top with a very familiar looking skull print. That’s right; everyone’s favourite power violence band has jumped over to the mainstream. It seems that Man Is The Bastard are just another in a long line of punk bands that have had their logo cribbed for the purpose of fashion. In addition to the skull, the top also featured a cross, much like the one found on the artwork for seminal DC hardcore split album Void/Faith.

The Void side of the album was much darker than the proto emo sound of Faith, and the artwork is way weirder. Faith had a band picture, the Void side features a weird drawing and two crosses – one normal, the other inverted. Sound familiar? You’ve probably seen Rochelle from The Saturdays wearing the same shirt on T4. I couldn’t find a picture but here’s one of Ke$ha wearing the same shirt. Void is some top 5 hardcore bands shit, so it’s nice to see some popstars showing their knowledge.

Elsewhere we have Angelina Jolie rocking a Crass shirt. I wonder if she sits around with Brad and the kids, debating the merits of anarchy. Do they run their house like an autonomous squat? Do her and Brad sing along to ‘Do They Owe Us A Living?’ If you think that’s weird, what about Lady Gaga’s crust leather jacket. She’s got a GISM patch on there. She is mad for Japanese punk. If there’s anyone that gets a pass for wearing shirts of bands they don’t know, it’s Gaga.

Without a doubt, the most common logo to see is the Black Flag bars. As the coolest, most recognisable hardcore logo going it’s no surprise that it gets used everywhere. And I mean everywhere. The Hundreds entire design approach is based on the bars. Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas owns an actual Black Flag t-shirt. You can’t move for parodies. Line four things up, take a picture, put it on your Tumblr. If it rhymes with the word ‘black’ that helps. Hence Cat Flag. Parody upon parody upon parody. I get it, believe me. It looks cool. I would suggest that if you don’t have an opinion on My War you probably should avoid aping the bars. Do I have a point? Probably not. Just that if you’re an aspiring streetwear brand or a Tumblr based hardcore band, don’t just use someone else’s design on your t-shirt. It’s not paying homage to your heroes; it’s lazy and just shows that you’re not smart enough to come up your own design. This is especially true if you released a band t-shirt with the slogan “Still not loving police” on it. As a bunch of nice middle class white boys from the South Coast, I’m sure you face exactly the same problems of people growing up in South Central L.A. in the early 90s.

On The Road

I’ve always considered On The Road to be one of my favourites books. Along with Crime and Punishment and Infinite Jest, it’s one of the books that has made the most impression on me. Having not read it for a couple of years I decided to reread it, to see if I still liked it, and to try and get an impression of how it will translate to the big screen. After watching the trailer, I’m pretty certain it’s going to suck. Here’s some brief reasoning.

Anyone who has read On The Road, or has any awareness of Kerouac as a writer, will know about the concept of spontaneous prose. The story goes that it was the result of three weeks of solid typing onto one continuous scroll of paper in a drug fuelled haze. Though true in the widest sense, Kerouac had spent the previous five years planning and drafting , filling notebooks with the stories and ideas that form the bulk of On The Road. His method for spontaneous prose required planning before it could be executed. His prose emulates the frantic and frenzied style of Bebop, rushing to communicate every thought or idea in his head, with a scant regard to the standard ideas of sentence structure and punctuation. But you know this, because it’s pretty common knowledge. It’s not like I’m discussing the use of involuntary memory in Proust’s In Search Of Lost Time (which I’ve read by the way – I am that smart). What’s not clear is how this is going to be emulated in the film version. I would imagine there’ll be lots of shots of the characters racing around, talking very fast, and saying “man” a lot. Maybe lots of handheld cameras. It’s going to look like Spinning On The Needlebliss.

One of the things that bugs me about any discussion of On The Road in the press is the portrayal of Kerouac as a icon of cool, a king of the beat generation. Reading the novel, it’s painfully clear that Sal Paradise (aka Jack Kerouac) is not cool. Dean Moriaty (aka Neal Cassady) is the cool one, the figure of fun that all the characters flock to, the one that inspires them to write and think and talk in the way they do, the one that lights the spark. In a famous passage Kerouac describes watching Ginsberg & Cassady walking down the road, highlighting the gulf between them, the cool ones, and him, the outsider. The first part of the novel details Kerouac’s attempts at following Cassady, trying to locate him and by extension all the life that he is living. His willingness to do whatever Cassady said, even when he has misgivings, is hardly the behaviour of a king of any scene. By the end of the book, through arguments and abandonment, the two become equals. My point is that the Sal Paradise/Jack Kerouac character is not the leader of the pack. On The Road is not about a leader and his gang; Jack Kerouac is not King of the Beats. I have a feeling that the film, and more likely the press coverage, will miss this point. Make sure you keep your eye out for style pieces using On The Road as a crutch to flog Levis, khakis, white tees and flannel shirts.

Some other things I’ll be interested to see if they address – Sal Paradise & Dean Moraity crushing on 16 year old girls and Mexican prostitutes, and Carlo Marx & Dean Moraity having a sexy relationship (not that there’s anything wrong with it). Mostly, I think the film will fail to portray the sense of longing and searching that On The Road is about. It’s not really about what the characters get up to in Denver or New York or San Francisco. It’s about them looking for an answer, trying to find out anything and everything about the world at a time when they’re almost completely lost. The On The Road film will push the adventure angle, make the parties the important thing. It’s basically going to look like Skins.